My Sweet Amberlea

It has been a loooonnnnggg wait for my sweet Amberlea.  While all 3 kids have birthdays in February, poor Amberlea's is last.  Finally today is the day!  She is not too happy that she was born at 9:46pm because she told me today that means she only gets 2 hours and 14 minutes for her birthday!  Then she asked about basically everyone I could think of, wanting to know the time of day they were born.  Pretty much everyone was born earlier in the day than that! Ha!

I would be lying if I completely sugar coated the story of Amberlea's birth.  So I will just preface this story and say that if it doesn't seem as glamorous and exciting as Rachel's birth, that has nothing to do with Amberlea.  It has everything to do with the fact that things were not good between Tim and me, and frankly a lot of Amberlea's birth was a blur because I was just trying to survive what was happening in my marriage.  On top of that, my Grandma Eickholt, who I was very close to, died suddenly when Amberlea was 9 days old.  So all of that time in my life just ran together.  Anyway, there are a lot of things I don't want to share, but I'll do my best to share with you the joy this child brought to my life.

So here goes...

I had a miscarriage in November 1998.  The pregnancy was a complete surprise, especially considering that it took almost 9 months to get pregnant with Rachel.  We had about enough time to share our excitement before I lost the baby.  We started trying again after Christmas, and when I found out I was pregnant in June, we were pleasantly surprised to find out we were due in February again, this time on Feb. 29.

I could copy and paste some of Rachel's birth story here because once again, I didn't go into labor the way I thought I would.  I had things set for a sub at the end of the month, but on Feb. 9 when I went to my appointment, she told me I better get things ready because I was already at a 3. My sub was quite surprised too, and we had to have a fast meeting over the weekend to make sure things were set.  I was scheduled for my next appointment a week later on Feb. 16.

On Valentine's Day, I made homemade pizza, and we spent a nice evening together.  I had a lot of contractions, enough that we were counting and thinking this was going to be it.  But just when they started getting closer together, then they started spreading apart again and eventuall stopped.  I thought sure I would have to call Tim to come home from work that night.  But the night came and went, and so did the next day.

We scheduled the basketball pizza party for Feb. 16 (when I still coached), and so I stayed after school for that.  I had a 4:30 appointment, so I came home to get Tim.  By then he was working nights at Eveready, so he had just gotten up.  I had a pizza from the party, and he ate it on the way to the appointment.  I will say that I was feeling a little funny all day, no contractions, no real pains, just an odd feeling.  So when she checked me and I was between a 6 and 7, she kind of freaked out and told me to go straight to the hospital.  At this point there were no contractions, and she was concerned that my water would break and boom, there would be a baby.  We had to get Rachel where she needed to go, so we ran to the sitter's and then took her to my parents' house.  I just never thought it would happen the same way again, just being checked into the hospital because I was dialated so far.  I guess I should have been more prepared.  When we arrived at the hospital, it was nearly 6pm, and my doctor was actually there waiting for me.  I barely was checked in and she just went ahead and broke my water.  When you are dialated to 7 (by this point), there for sure is no going back.  They barely got me on the monitor when my contractions started up.

As I said before, Amberlea was by far my most difficult labor, yet the shortest.  I was having contractions by 6:30pm and she was born at 9:46pm.  When I started pushing, I remember being so surprised that it was over so fast.  Thank God because the pain was way worse than with Rachel.  And my pain after having her was way worse too.  I barely had any pain after Rachel, and with Amberlea I was doubled over in pain.

So back to Amberlea.  I thought she was a boy.  I didn't hope she was a boy.  I didn't have any way of knowing.  I just thought.  I was very surprised when the doctor told us it was a girl!  I was super excited to use her name.  Tim and I chose Rachel really soon after I found out I was pregnant with her.  Finding names for Amberlea was very difficult.  Our relationship had greatly deteriorated since he started working at Eveready, and we didn't spend much time doing anything to get ready for this baby.  I am thankful that Tim put up the crib and helped get the baby's room ready over Christmas break.  How we came about Amberlea's name is kind of by accident.  When I was pregnant with Rachel, Tim said he didn't want any names that started with A since our last name started with an A.  With Amberlea, I was at a loss on what to name her.  I wanted something unique and beautiful.  Rachel's boy name Ryan Timothy evolved into Cole Timothy for this pregnancy.  Early in the fall before her birth, we were out for dinner at A&G and there was a girl there named Amberlee (I think that is how it was spelled).  I just asked Tim if he liked the name, and he just replied yes.

Then a few weeks later I brought up baby names, and out of the blue he said...what about that name Amberlee, how would we spell it?  I hadn't thought about it again, and I was excited and surprised that he was interested in it.  I said...I'm not sure about that.  I liked Amberleigh, kind of.

Tim and I had used sentimental names for Rachel's middle name JoAnn after my mom Ann, and my grandpa Joe.  Tim's middle name came from his grandpa, and we still wanted to have something like that for this baby.  The next thing we knew, we had concocted Amberlea Jean Elizabeth.  Amberlea pronounced like Kimberly, with no emphasis on the lea part, as in it is not two separate names like Amber LEE.  I know that sounds funny, but we fight that even now.  We also agreed NOT to call her Amber, and that has stuck.  If anyone calls her that, we just politely correct them, the same as someone who is called Jennifer and someone calls her Jenni but she never goes by that, or Steve when his name is Steven. The LEE became LEA from my sister Karis Lea Ann.  And no, Amberlea is not Amber LEE A, or Amber LEAH.  I checked the phonetic makeup of her name before we named her, and we are correct in pronouncing Amberlea with just the LEE sound at the end. I have argued it, believe me.  Amberlea started out as Amberlea Elizabeth (my other sister Erin's middle name), but then I didn't want to leave out Tim's sister.  So we started experimenting with her name, Tammy Jean, and hoped we could find a way to fit Jean in.  I tried hyphenating, putting the Jean first and then last, everything.  I was concerned because Karis had 2 middle initials, and I knew that the 2nd one is rarely recognized, so she is usually Karis L.  I finally figured there was no way to avoid this, and knew that anything that really mattered would allow her to be Amberlea J. E. Sure enough, she gets just the J. quite often, but anytime I am asked for a middle initial, I always put both.

Tim and I were very proud to name our baby girl after our 3 sisters.  We were also very thankful there were just 3 sisters so she didn't have a massive last name.  She already ended up with over 1/2 of the alphabet in her name!

We were also very excited that she had hair! Black hair!  Not the full head of hair, but hair, nonetheless, as opposed to Rachel's bald head!  I figured Amberlea would end up with blonde hair, but so far after 10 years, it is still dark brown.  She weighed 7lbs. 6oz. and I think she was 19 3/4 in.  She was a very good baby, and I would not have survived my life falling apart in the coming months if it wouldn't have been for her. 

Tim left on Mother's Day weekend when Amberlea was just shy of 12 weeks.  I was nursing her, and this blessing helped me keep my head on straight.  God had a purpose for Amberlea, and in the midst of my marriage falling apart, I was reminded that Rachel and Amberlea both were products of a deep love in my heart. This baby needed me to keep it together, and I was determined to love and nurture her.  It was a rough time in our lives, and I often wonder if that is where Amberlea's temperment came from, the fact that things were so stressful during my pregnancy and also during the early months of her life.  She was full of laughter and smiles, and Tim and I are still blessed by her sense of humor, her uniqueness, and her creativity.  She teases me that she can never find pencils or other things with her name on them, and I should have known better.  I am the oldest, and my parents followed a 1973 very common name of Jennifer with a little sister named Karis, who also never found any pencils with her name on them!  We have had many compliments on Amberlea's name, and her name just seems to fit her personality.  Once when I was coaching, the team we were playing had an Amberlee. When the coach yelled her name, I was shocked because it is the only time I've heard her name used!

So how do I end this.  I read back over it, and it feels like so much is missing.  I want to say that while things were indeed falling apart with Tim and me, this was a very special time for us, and one we will both always cherish.  She came into our lives at seemingly a rough time, but brought so many blessings and warmed our hearts.   Her big sister was quite smitten with her, and I am thankful everyday for having Amberlea in my life. I used to think that Amberlea missed out on so much, she was robbed of some basic things that should have happened in her life as a baby...then other times I think that those material things and anything I think she might have missed don't matter because what really matters is that Tim and I love her very much, and we have since we found out she was on the way, and especially the moment we laid eyes on her.