The Story of My Week

First of all, I got a hefty dose on the receiving end of homework this week.  To say it has been hell is an understatement.  One kid had a massive (in terms of a 4th grader) New York project.  And while I normally would say I heart New York, this week my sentiments have not been as kind. I do not care that the state insect is a ladybug (cute) or that the state beverage is milk (yum), and I soooo did not care what the state muffin was, so we didn't find out.  I was happy to see the wine red garnet as the state gem (my anniversary stone), but other than that, the only thing New York made me think of was getting away on vacation, like to Niagara Falls (also beautiful).  Beyond that, I was really past hating this project.  The teacher in me required the kid in 4th grade to do the work herself, which in turn made the mommy in me crazy!

And in the background, the 7th grader was multitasking...book report pieces that would eventually become giant Oreo concentration cards and a timeline of the Revolutionary War were all spread out on the office floor.  I teach the Revolution (they were doing the timeline about a novel in a different class) and I was having trouble making the connection to the Oreo.  I was pretty sure none of the Valley Forge provisions included the double stuffed delicacies.  While that was all over the floor, she was trying to brainstorm her Optimist speech on "Cyber Communication: Progress or Problem." She was answering texts while I was gluing pictures on the Oreos, and I finally told her I thought her form of cyber communicating (aka. texting) was a problem, and then found out she was texting a friend about yet another project from school.  Somewhere in the mix I figured out that the Oreos did not have anything to do with the Revolution, and spent the next few minutes digging everywhere on the computer for any information about the Battle of Philadelphia that happened in "either 1777, 1772 or 1775" because "those are the only dates left to pick from!" (lol)  The Revolutionary War teacher in me was cursing Philly and still thinking about the poor Patriot forces camping out in the cold at Valley Forge, and somehow wishing we had some Oreos in the house. 

Thin mints will have to do...

Back to the New York project, we were nearly ready to print when I got slammed with slope intercept.  I love, love, love Math, could do it for hours, don't get bored at all, the numbers facinate me.  But wow, checking 7th grade math is a challenge without an answer key.  I find myself figuring 30 problems from a set each night she is with me, and some nights I am on the phone figuring them.  While I love Saxon math and the spiral setup, it can knock you off your feet to reteach yourself slope for just 2 problems.  That means that when the next 2 problems are on negative powers, I have to spend time remembering that, while seeing the upcoming problems and hoping with all my power that I can simplify and expand like terms, find the area, circumference and perimeter of various shapes, find proportions, and graph certain coordinates...all in the same math set.  I've gotten to the point that I have retaught myself so much, it is actually a little easier now.  But I still have to figure every answer to be able to check her answers.  Tonight she called me at school before I left (still there at 5pm) to ask about a proportion question.  It was a story problem, and having her tell me on the phone was quite funny...pretty sure she repeated herself about 5x!  When it was done, I texted her and said "that was way too much brain stimulus!"

So the New York project is printing, and the slope is sloping, when along comes the 4th grader's book report info.  Are you kidding me?  Rachel was invited to the basketball game, and even though she had so much homework, she really wanted to go, and Mom she really needed a break.  She was gone for a few hours, and came back for us to tackle the speech.  By then, Tye and Amberlea were in bed, and I only had one kid saying my name.  Luckily, she had already made a long list of pros and cons for cell phones, iPods, email, etc., and had a great quote ready to go.  She had a good layout for her speech, and we were able to put it together quickly.  It was ready to print, and all she had to do was put it on notecards and PRACTICE by tomorrow.

Midnight bedtime for a 13 year old 12 year old (at least for 7 more days).  Great mothering!  But honestly, besides the ballgame, which was a necessary break in order for me to be sure little man wasn't tearing up the house and the middle child didn't feel completely neglected and the oldest child's brain didn't explode, there was not any other time in the day.  She worked on homework straight through from when she got home until she crashed at nearly midnight.

By the time Wednesday came, I had done nearly 6 hours worth of homework in 2 days, and that was just the part that demanded my undivided attention.  That doesn't include the other math sets I checked and the fact that I taught all week and did homework help tonight after school.  My brain is tired.

And to top it off, I found out today that above mentioned middle child did awful  not so great on a Science test this week.  I am frustrated that I didn't remember to help her study, but even more frustrated that she didn't ask me or her dad or Abby (she's almost 10, and she needs to let us know).  I wonder just when we would have had time to do this, but I know there was time.  I think.

On the way out of school yesterday, I saw my sister.  She was talking to Tori about getting her science experiment ready, and then another project that required research.  I was thanking God dearly that Tye is not in Tori's 1st grade class, which would mean that we would also be doing all that work this week in the midst of everything else, and in that case I would really be in the loony bin stressed.

So what has Tye been up to?  Running, skipping and galloping.

A lot.

That is the new rule in P.E. when you aren't listening.  If you are talking or not paying attention during instructions or when the teacher asks, instead of sitting, you run (or skip or gallop).  I saw the P.E. teacher in the office last Friday, and she mentioned that Tye had skipped and galloped quite a bit during class that day.  We got a good laugh among friends, but I told her I would talk to him about this.  We had a long talk over the weekend, and lots of reminders.  On Tuesday, I happened to be in the hall upstairs, just as he was coming back from P.E.  He hugged me and I kissed him on top of the head, finding out in a not-so-pleasant way that he was sweating!  I said...ooo, you having been running!  And before he could say anything, another kid said...yep, he has been running, but we haven't.  I looked up into the eyes of the P.E. teacher, and she nodded and said...yep, he's been running.

Oooo.  So it was a stern talking to, the "I'm going to be checking on you and blah blah.

So yesterday afternoon, I said...how did P.E. go today? 

Hmmm....he stammered around and said...we didn't have P.E. today.  So we walked on towards the van, and just as we were getting in, he said...we had music, and she sent me out in the hall.  He just looked at me in a matter-of-fact stare.  I said...great, now I have to check with both teachers.

Then today in the office after school, the P.E. teacher said...well, he ran again today.  I just sighed.  She knows I want to know, so she is doing great at keeping me updated.  And she is my friend, so I feel like she tells it to me straight.  She said...he isn't being bad, just not listening.

Did I mention there are 23 kids in his class?  So there HAS to be some order, for gosh sakes.  He HAS to follow the rules.

I asked...so what did he do?  She said...when I asked everyone to get quiet so we could continue, as soon as it was completely silent, he would say...woo, woo. Repeatedly. As in, everytime she started to talk.

So he ran.  He was kind of packing on the pounds at the beginning of the school year, and come to think of it, he has slimmed down some.  I will have to ask her how much he has been running!  So tonight there were more consequences and the guilt trip about being disrespectful to the teacher, and she is so nice and so on.  He is going to work on earning some rewards, while also losing privileges if this continues. 

Thank God tomorrow is Friday. Woo Woo!

Except that he has P.E. again.

Smokin Hot Kidz

My eldest is a great big sister.  I mean she has her moments, but is truly amazing with all the little ones in her life (one younger brother and three younger sisters).  She loves to babysit, and did so for me on Friday night when I went for dinner and movie with a group of friends.  Rachel had Kristen over, and Amberlea had Maddie, and they had a blast.  Tye was right in the middle of things, and ended up with some lipstick and kisses, but hey, what boy doesn't like that!?  The girls all commented on how much fun they had (the older girls did the younger girls' hair and makeup, and they were rock stars) and when I came home, A) the house was not destroyed; B) everyone was giggling; and C) I am pretty sure the neighbors didn't call the cops.

So all is good.

Then last night, I had to be gone for a little while, as the faculty and staff at my school had volunteered to cook for the Manna Kitchen.  I ran the girls home around 3:15, ran my potatoes back to the church at 4, picked up Tye and ran home for a little bit, then back to the church by 4:45 to help serve from 5-6, cleanup and home by about 6:20.  I even made extra potatoes so Rachel could have them (one of her favorites) and had everything set for them to have something for supper.  The girls both had a lot of homework, so that kept them busy.

When I came in around 6:20, they were just fixing supper.  Rachel had opened a can of cream corn instead of regular, and didn't know what to do with it.  Besides that, the homemade meatloaf muffins were being warmed up and almost everyone was hungry.

Tye: I'm not hungry.

Me: Why not?

Tye: Cuz I just ate a poptart.

Me: (glaring at Rachel) Tye! You shouldn't be eating a poptart right when it is suppertime!

Tye: I ate 4 of them.

Now I am gasping, and Rachel looked like she had been shot!  I mumbled something about doing such a great job of babysitting, and she was at least glad to almost be done with her homework.

Sigh.

Tonight I was home with the girls for a while.  I joined the community center, so I wanted to go workout, and Rachel again said it was no problem because they had homework to do.   I didn't plan to be gone long, but I did need to return some books to the libary and get another one.  So I ran there first. When I came out, I sent her a text that she needs to finish the last book she has out from the library because it is overdue.  Here is the rest of the texting...

Rachel: I know.

Me: The library cops r gonna get u! (maybe not, but I am making her pay the fine because she's had it long enough to be considered lost)

Rachel:  Whatever! Amberlea just like made smoke.

I started to text back and then thought...hmm.  That just doesn't sound good.

I called home and found out that Amberlea had fixed herself some Easy Mac. And burned it. To a crisp.  Amberlea came down and told Rachel she thought she burned her mac and cheese, and could she come up and look.  Rachel said smoke was billowing out of the microwave.  She told me she had it under control now.  I thought maybe the microwave was acting up, but she said that she turned around and made another batch right after that, and everything was fine.  It appears the before mentioned middle child did not put enough water in the Easy Mac and then cooked it.  Rachel said she took it out at 2 minutes and it was black.

When I got home, I could smell the smoke in the garage.  The house was worse. Way worse.  It just stinks.  I said I wanted to see the finished product, and Rachel said that she threw it out in the snow.  On the front step.  Why Lord, why?  So I checked and yep, there is a solid mass of barely recongnizable mac and cheese in a black clump in the snow on the front porch.  How big is my yard, and they throw it out the front door!

Me: Amberlea, you could have burned down the house!

Amberlea: Um, um...

Rachel: Aren't you so glad I am such a good babysitter?  I took care of everything.

Yes, thank God.

Ok, Alright, Enough Already...

I am a lover of snow days! I prefer them to come in groups, instead of sporatically so that they can fully be enjoyed. Large blocks of time off from school are helpful with the teaching part, as I find it hard to have a day off here and there because it breaks up the consistency.
But...enough is enough. I have been home entirely tooooo long! Thank God for the movie plans on Friday night or I would be crazy by now! So much for my eating plan, although I haven't blown it, it just is in limbo. So much for working out because the community center childwatch hours are not condusive to my schedule on the weekends.

And I am soooo tired of cleaning house. I want my kids to stop eating and making dirty laundry and taking showers because it means I have to cook, do dishes, clean the kitchen, wash laundry, fold laundry, put away laundry, wash towels. Nevermind staying on top of the toys that have been drug out...
But after this week, I am yet again reminded that kids eating and making dirty laundry and needing me means I am blessed threefold with 3 great kids! I am also reminded that they are healthy and happy, as so many are not. I am reminded what a blessing each of them are in my life.

I have offered many prayers this week on behalf of the Pappert family who lost their little 3 mo. old Ryan this week. I could say something really poignant right now about God's plans and so on, but the words aren't there for me yet.  I still struggle terribly with what God has planned for me, and I am pretty proud of the fact that I am still a believer, and I do think my faith is healing me.  I had a chat with another new mommy today who has other children, and it seems we never stop worrying over what could happen to our children, regardless of their age.  Not having a baby in the house does relieve the stresses that go along with those worries, while bringing about others.  My oldest is a hop and a skip away from high school, and I wonder if I will sleep at all, worrying about all there is to worry in regards to a teenage child.  But as the other mommy said, we just have to love them as long as we have them.

And I know of another mom who lost a teenage son to cancer.  The only surviving child went off to college
a few months later.  She said that a clean house and having the laundry caught up is overrated.

So thanks to my 3gr8kidz for the piled up laundry and dirty dishes.  I did get somewhat caught up today, although created an even bigger mess when I started sorting the store room.  Even so, my house is full of life and love, and that, in itself, is my biggest blessing.

Heartfelt Devotions...

Tye: I don't want to move.

Me: Why not?

Tye: I want to go back to our old house.

Me: Why?

Tye: Cuz that's where Daddy was.

A long conversation later...

Tye: Also, I like sports, I don't want my room to be camouflage.

Me: We can paint your new room.  How do you want it?

Tye: Hmmm....(finally) I think green and yellow.

Me: (I am thinking sports and Spoofhounds and wondering how he came up with that).  Why green and yellow?

Tye: (with a look like duh!) John Deere Mom!

Me: Ooohhhh, John Deere. Ok, well, here's the deal. Papa Paul has worked on the other kind of tractor for 35 years, so we aren't doing your room in John Deere, but you can have John Deere things!

Tye: Ok, we can do it in orange (Agco).

Me: Or we can do sports.

By now he is starting to doze off, kind of batting his eyes.

Tye: I think I just want hearts.

Me: Hearts?

Tye: Yes, just hearts all over.

Me: For a boy's room?

Tye: Because I just love my family so much.

Awwww...is he so adorable and such a charmer. 

Just like his dad...

UPDATE:
I repeated the story to Amberlea.  She said, oh, he is just so cute!  She giggled and went on.  Then she came back in and said...so Mom, you are not really going to let him do his room in hearts, are you?

Tee Hee...

3 Great Kids Amaze Me!

2day 3gr8kidz surprised me with a Precious Moments figurine...a little angel holding a heart with January and a birthstone on it.  And Amberlea made a card to go along.

I was quite surprised that they remembered today is our anniversary.  It makes me feel good to still celebrate.  I had ever intention of watching our wedding video, which I have not done for several years, but when today came, I didn't feel like it.  I knew it would bring out a lot of emotions, and I am not feeling like that right now, especially since we are going back to school tomorrow.  I have also started a new diet, per say, actually new way of eating...using the Curves weight management program.  It is phase I right now, which is only 1200 calories, and I figured I was a bit edgy right now as it is, I didn't need to give myself a reason to go off the deep end!

Instead I was able to just enjoy the day and live in the moment of my children acknowledging my sadness and also sharing in my happiness of a most wonderful day.

Thanks kidz...

Happy New Year 2010!

I am so very thankful for my children.  What a blessing they are in my life!  I am looking ahead to the coming year with the hope that my life can take a different focus.  The grief seems to weigh so heavily on my heart, and no amount of time that has passed has eased the pain.  Have I gotten used to things? For the most part.  There are things I will never be used to.

Like crawling in bed alone.

Or coming home to an empty house.

Or never hearing the sweet I love you's in my ear.

But I have reflected on so much over the last year, and the sadness is slowly being replaced by happiness again.  I have to admit, some of it is forced.  But that is ok, because for all the forced smiles, some have started to come on their own.  I know it is what Brian would want.

And I am waiting for someone to come back that is never coming back.  I am waiting for happiness, the happiness I had with Brian.  And it is gone.  The memories bring such pain, but also some semblence of that happiness, and for that I am thankful.

2010 will bring so much.  My dad is getting married, so our family is changing yet again.  Whoever thought we were in control of anything in our lives really? Life is ever-changing, and I can only hope to grow with life and not get lost in those changes.  I will be moving, as I am buying my parents' house.  I am very excited about this, and hope it might bring some peace in my grief of my mom.  I never truly grieved for her because my life was so busy trying to save my dying husband.  My emotions wouldn't allow me to do both, and so my grief for her was put on hold.  Now, as my dad is getting married, I find myself going through some emotions that are long overdue.  I am so thankful that I have the means to buy their house, and I can thank Brian for taking such good care of me and the kids for that.  Ironic, no doubt, that he has to be dead for me to be able to afford to live in my dead mother's house.  It is yet another way that he has taken care of things for me, so it is bittersweet.

I am joining the community center again.  It is past time for me to take better care of myself.  I have always been greatly affected by my emotions, and I really had to have them in check to even be able to attempt to lose some weight.  I am hopeful that this year will find me healthier and more energetic, which in turn will make my life less stressful and more enjoyable.

I am baffled by the fact that another year has passed.  I don't have a lot to show for that year, other than survival.  I am getting kind of tired of just surviving life.  I hope I can draw strength from Brian and my mom, as they both had so much life left to live in them, and I want that for myself too.

Deep breath.